Instant Messaging: Not getting a reply quickly gets us anxious

Instant Messaging: Not getting a reply quickly gets us anxious

"Why is the reply taking so long?"

We all get anxious and nervous when we do not get a quick reply from someone we care about.

Have you ever sent someone a text via any of the popular instant messaging and gotten anxious afterwards?

If you don’t get an instant reply do you feel bothered? Do you feel ignored? I bet the answers to all these questions is yes.

In this generation of instant messaging with real-time replies, we get anxious when we don’t get an instant text back.


We’ve all been here before where anxiety creeps. You send a text to your bf/gf and don’t get an instant reply. You get worried and check his or her Twitter time line and notifications on Instagram to see if he or she is online. You become a stalker because your message has been left on delivered.

"What am I being ignored?", "what did I do wrong this time?" Your mind starts playing tricks on you and you think the worst is happening. The relationship is over and there is another person in the picture.

Instant messaging has made instant gratification a super-reality in our time. Gone when the days you would send someone an e-mail in a cyber café and be happy to get a reply three or four days later.

ALSO READ: How to deal with anxiety

With relationships, instant messaging is a barometer to detect how well the relationship is going. The longer the reply, the more chances of trouble in paradise.

Lamentations are many on the streets of Twitter. A girlfriend sends her boyfriend a message on WhatsApp. He doesn’t reply despite reading the message. Ouch.

The situation is worse when you are toasting. You might not get a reply until 48 hours later. I once got a reply from a babe on WhatsApp, I initially met on Tinder, 72 hours later. I read her message and ignored. Tit for tat.


It’s a game of cats and mice. My general rule is this, the longer it takes to get a reply, the greater the chances that the person is not feeling you. I generally lose interest when I don’t get quick replies.

The truth is everyone is with their mobile phones, everyone. If you do not get a quick reply chances are that the person isn’t interested.

Of course, the person might be working or indisposed but when you get delayed replies 9 times out of 10, the person isn’t interested.

How do you get rid of the anxiety? Do not be emotionally invested in replies. If you get a reply, it’s all good. If you don’t, well move on. Don’t take it too seriously. There are many things to do in this world than wait anxiously for a reply.


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